While at home
- Let your student choose the schools they apply to. Also let them complete any and all admissions and scholarship applications. It’s their choice and responsibility to take care of this themselves.
- Remember – it’s not about you. Many parents get emotionally invested in their child’s college decision, which can often cause a lot of friction in the relationship. While of course you want your child to go to a good school, the best college for your student is going to be the one that’s the right fit for them – which isn’t always your first choice. Whenever you find yourself getting judgemental, take a deep breath and think about whether it’s really worth picking a fight over. After all, your child doesn’t have too much time left at home. Enjoy it while you can.
While at college
- Put your student in control. Whether it’s roommate issues or the fact that they didn’t get their financial aid check when they were supposed to, let your student take care of the situation. They are an adult, treat them like one. By allowing them to seek out the different offices on campus for a solution, you are preparing them for real world situations. Resist calling college departments to resolve issues for them.
- Don’t interfere with your student’s class schedule. This is conversation that should be held between the student and the advisor. Let them be in control of what classes they enroll in and what times they want their classes. Just because you are interested in taking an art course doesn’t mean your student has the same interest. Also let them be the one to contact the Advising center with questions about their schedule or if they need to drop or add classes.
- Don’t call, text or email your student every day. College is a time for your child to find independence and to feel like an adult. It can be difficult for them to feel like they are on their own if you are constantly calling and texting them. If you sense that your student is irritated or short on the phone with you, this may be a sign that you are calling to often. Let them be the one to initiate contact.